Letter to EuroSport


I am very disappointed that you took down the poll for “player of the 90’s”, due to very heavy voting from Romania and Bulgaria. Frankly, I do not understand what did we do wrong.

I understand that you were upset because top players such as Romario and Batistuta received very few votes compared to Hagi and Stoicicov. Is there a chance that this happened because nobody gave a damn about Romario and Batistuta? Maybe Brazil and Argentina do not have very good Internet connection, or maybe they are too busy actually playing football instead of voting it? As Romanians, we do give a damn about Hagi, as the current generation of players is quite retarded, as you could see for yourself in the Mutu case. However, he did screw a couple of your women, so you might as well give him credit for that. Returning to Hagi, I remember that the Romanian team, having Hagi as captain, did kick your royal British asses (or “arses”, as you call them) a couple of times, so you should have been proud to be beaten by the “player of the 90’s”. And yes, we did kick the asses of Batistuta’s team in the 1994 World Cup Tournament.

Maybe you were upset because some Romanians voted for several times from the same computer. However, this could have been prevented easily if your voting script was properly programmed. You see, every computer has a unique Internet address, which is called IP (read as “I Pee”). I understand that you are very poor and that you must use your reporters to do your Web Programming, but next time you should consider hiring some Romanian high school students. They will do it properly, and they are also cheap.

Honestly, you should not be mad at us for voting in such large numbers. After all, this means that you received a very large number of visits to your site from Romania, which is remarkable considering the fact that your site is so shitty. Keep posting polls like that, and your traffic may reach new, unimaginable heights.

It is a shame that the idea of Fair Play, which was your creation, is not found too often in your everyday life. I am sure that you will find a better way to select the “player of the 90’s”, which will prevent Romanians from voting. What about taxing a 1000-euro per vote, is this a good idea?

Please excuse my Romanian English, which may sound horrible to your ears. I can assure you that the feeling is mutual, and that I don’t give a rat’s ass on your Cambridge language tests. However, I am pretty sure that if I tell you to go fuck yourselves, you will understand.

Yours truly,

Naspa Rau (loosely translated as Awfully Bad)